


Longing

by boobop (smacklig_maltid)



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: 5+1 Things, Drunken Confessions, F/M, Fluff, Friends to Lovers, Kuroo Tetsurou is Bad at Feelings, Light Angst, Love Confessions, Mutual Pining, Pining, Rejection, Romance, but for good reasons, slight angst
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-02-03
Updated: 2021-02-03
Packaged: 2021-03-15 09:07:21
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 2
Words: 1,426
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29186787
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/smacklig_maltid/pseuds/boobop
Summary: The 5 times you and Kuroo confess to each other, and the 1 time you actually end up together.
Relationships: Kuroo Tetsurou/Reader
Kudos: 16





	1. Rejection

You clutched the light pink envelope to your chest, trying to calm the intense beating of your heart and butterflies that flapped their wings in your belly. There was no denying how nervous you were - the mere _thought_ of what you were about to do made you want to curl up and hide to avoid what could be a messy rejection. But there was no time to hesitate, not when his graduation was a week away. You knew you wouldn’t be able to forgive yourself if you turned back now with a bunch of ‘what ifs’ circling through your head.

A part of you truly believed that Kuroo really did return your feelings. After all, you found it hard to believe that those lingering hugs, flirtatious remarks and countless walks home had no real meaning behind them. He always made it feel so...so _intimate_ . Hell, you’re _so_ sure he intended on kissing you that one time he walked you home but had chickened out last second.

_“Kuroo?” You whispered, your eyes wide in surprise as the boy inched closer to you, his eyes telling you that he was far away, much too lost in thought to process his actions nor the proximity._

_His hand reached up to brush your hair away from your face, before sliding down to caress your cheek. At this point you could feel his warm breath on your lips - a nice contrast to the cold winter air - you swear your heart was going to burst out of your chest any moment now. And just as you managed to properly process what was happening, it seemed Kuroo did too, blinking a few times then snapping up straight with red cheeks._

_“Sorry, I...that was weird of me,” was all he said about his actions to you afterwards, nudging you towards your house. “I’ll see you tomorrow.”_

That night only fueled your feelings for the idiot, and you ended up not getting a wink up sleep as your thoughts ran rampant, wondering what would’ve happened if you had the courage to ask him about it. Well, at least today you’d find out if any of these moments meant anything, or if you really were reading into it too much and setting yourself up for heartbreak.

“Alright, we can head out now, I’ve finished locking up,” Kuroo’s voice startled you out of your internal freakout, his figure popping around the corner, swinging the key ring around his index finger. Realizing you were still holding the letter, you swiftly made an attempt to hide it behind your back to no avail - the middle blocker’s sharp eyes had recognized exactly what you had in your hands the second he came around the corner. “Is that a love letter?” He asked you, surprise evident on his face.

“No!” You yelled, panicking a little when he took another step towards you. Kuroo smirked at your reaction and put his hands on his hips to stare you down mockingly. “I’m serious! It isn’t, so you can wipe that stupid smirk off your face -”

“Oh come on, Y/N. You know you can’t lie to me,” he flicked your forehead, and something in his voice told you that he believed that. Feeling a little cornered, you let out a breath and decided to be brave. This was _Kuroo_ \- he’s not one to be harsh with rejection. It was now or never. “Is it for me, hmm?” He joked.

“Yes. It is, actually,” you mumbled, averting your gaze to the ground and holding the letter out in front of you. 

“ _Oh_ ...Oh Y/N, thank you, but...I’m _so_ sorry, I can’t -” Kuroo cut himself off, placing a hand on your shoulder. “I can’t say I return your feelings.”

There was no doubt that Kuroo saw the way disappointment washed over you, your shoulders slumping and your head bowing down to hide the tears that started to build up in your eyes. 

Guess you _were_ reading too much into it.


	2. Unheard

“Whatcha’ doing out here, Kuroo?” 

The man in question tensed up at the sound of your voice, tightening his grip on the railing. 

Honestly, he didn’t know why he was so out of it today. It was supposed to be a fun reunion with the team - and it is, he hasn’t had the chance to goof around in ages - but your presence left him feeling like an idiot, every interaction between the two of you sending his heart into a frenzy. 

“Just needed some fresh air, is all,” Kuroo replies, forcing a smile onto his lips.

Who was he kidding? He knows  _ exactly  _ why he was out of it. It was  _ you _ , you and Fukunaga, holding hands and sometimes hanging behind the group to whisper with one another, lost in your own little world. But it’s not something he should be upset about,  _ he’s  _ the one who rejected you two years ago and he wants to tear his hair out because according to Kenma it was his rejection that had pushed you and Fukunaga together in the end. 

“Hey,” you started, now standing next to him on the porch, resting your hands on the railing, “I hope you haven’t forgotten your promise.”

_ “Please, I didn’t mean any of it,” Kuroo took both of your hands in his, panicking at the tears that bubbled up in your eyes and the way your bottom lip wobbled. He cursed himself for allowing his anger to spill out from his mouth, a string of insults and petty jabs flowing before he could contain it. It was pretty obvious his words had cut you, and they cut deep, drawing out the insecurities you revealed to him, the very same ones he threw back at you moments before.  _

_ “Y-you can’t keep doing this!” You sniffled, “It’s like this all the time - you take everything on your shoulders and never let anyone help you, then when it’s all too much you do  _ **_this_ ** _ , you hurt me, you hurt everyone around you! I know you’re the Captain, but outside of that you are just a teenage boy like everyone else on the team. Talk to me, talk to them - fuck, just talk to someone! You’re not some kind of god, no one expects you to do everything on your own, so quit being arrogant and let us carry some of your burdens!”  _

_ “You’re right,” he breathes. “I promise I won’t let this happen again...though, I understand if you don’t want to talk to me after all of that.” _

_ He’s left speechless as you shake your head and pull him into a hug, your hands grasping the back of his shirt, trying to hold him as close as possible. Warmth settled in his chest, his shoulders relaxing as if the weight of the world was lifted off of his shoulders and he lifted his arms to return the gesture.  _

“No, of course not,” he finally turns to look at you. The moon does you wonders, the soft glow making you look almost ethereal. It was dangerous to look at you - standing here on the porch with you under the moonlight, it ignited the feelings he’s been trying to extinguish throughout the entire day, setting his heart ablaze and he almost forgot your heart was in the hands of someone else. “I’d tell you, but...I don’t think that’s a good idea.”

_ How do you breathe again _ ? He finds himself wondering just that when you face him. 

“Try me,” you challenge, tapping your fingers on the railing, a small smile on your lips. 

He thinks about your boyfriend, his friend, who’s sitting in the living room with everyone else, oblivious to the feelings his former Captain held for you, and he knows that telling you anything would be wrong. Fukunaga didn’t deserve this, and neither did you. So he shakes his head, and tears his eyes off of you.

“I’d rather not. I’ll...talk to Kenma about it or something, so you don’t have to worry about me. I’ll be back inside before you know it. I think I just need a second to myself.” You look a little concerned by his response, but respect his wishes nonetheless, nodding and taking a step back.

“Alright. Well, if you ever need to talk, I’m always there to listen. Just don’t stay out too long, yeah? It’s cold,” you tell him before walking back into the house. He watches your back disappear behind the door and when he hears it click shut, he closes his eyes.

“I like you, so,  _ so  _ much.”


End file.
